Over the past few years and more so over the past few months I have been privileged to see just how many people my mum meant so much to, and the ways in which she was special to all of them. She was the pride of her parents and in their later days a compassionate daughter. To my brother, my sister and I she was a guiding light in our life. For my dad, she was the love of his life, his perfect partner. My mum was a devoted and considerate mother. She had made a conscious decision about the way that she wanted our family life to be, based on the ideology of what family meant to her. She then endeavoured to nurture us into the family that we have become. She held considered moral values and used these to guide us at various turning points in our lives and as we developed an outlook on our relationships with others. There has always been a great closeness between all of us that she worked hard to maintain as we grew older, even if we didn’t always make this easy to do. This closeness was achieved through a mixture of simple things such as sitting round a table for dinner every night and talking with us, taking us out for long walks or day trips together where we could experience new things. Whatever she did it was always done with the intention of creating a world around us full of creativity and free choice, but guided by care and morality. When we developed new interests my mum would always love to become involved and help out in any way she could. This extended from sewing ribbons on ballet shoes, driving boys with guitars to endless venues and washing whole teams' football kits. And she always did these things without question because she knew it was in our best interests and that was her main concern. My mum was a liberal parent who let us make our own choices but always offered guidance and help to achieve our goals. From a young age it has often felt like more of a two-way relationship than the traditional parent and child formula. She would always try to walk us along rather than push us into place. One of the great things about her was her attention to detail and the little things she would do for people that would make something so much more special. We are very lucky to have been taken on some amazing holidays. But whether we were on a once in a lifetime trip, or on one of our regular camping holidays, it was the attention to detail that would make every one of these holidays memorable and special. When we were younger one of the most exciting things about going on holiday was the little package of surprises we would be given for the journey there. Games and puzzles to keep us entertained made it feel like Christmas come early. A friend remarked that she will always remember the time when a few of us were driving to France for a short holiday. We had stayed at ours the night before and got up very early to make the first ferry. When we went downstairs there was a package of honey sandwiches already waiting for us at the front door for the journey. I had thought nothing of this at the time as I assumed this was what every mother would do. But it is only through talking to others that I have realised just how much my mum has done for us to make everything the best it can be. Right down to the honey sandwiches. Her view of family extended beyond just the five of us and included everyone that we were close to as well. I think that this is how she has become so special to so many people. She would listen to and treat people in such a way that for that moment they felt as if they were the centre of the world. I know many of our friends have experienced how the door would always be open to them no matter what and how she would always be there to talk, offer advice and support. She had a way of making people feel that they didn’t need to worry and that everything would be all right. She could help people to see a way through every difficulty. My friend Will who has been living in Berlin for the last year had this to say of her: “ You really are an amazing person, Marilyn, and someone who has been there not only for me but for a great many others when they needed advice or a voice of reason. It’s a characteristic I know you share with Ben and probably the reason your house ended up being the social hub for former Teddington School students that it has – that, and the fact you are all rather good at cooking.” This year will be the 30th anniversary of my parents’ marriage. It has been a relationship built upon love and devotion. While they have been through great difficulties over the last few years this has only brought them closer together. It has been inspirational to see that whenever my mum was well enough they would use the time the best they could. Travelling across the world and experiencing new things, or just going to visit old friends; they have done everything together. Because of their example we now have high expectations of ourselves as we approach our own relationships. We can only hope to emulate the beautiful bond that they shared. Even in her last hours Mum still found the strength to provide great comfort to us. That beautiful smile of contentment that she would always give when we needed it. It was as she smiled that I realised I did not need to worry. I understood that she had instilled in my siblings and me the virtues and values that would guide us through our adult life and help us as we aspire to live a life in her image. She could always find a way to make things better for anyone, no matter how hard it was to see a way through. Even if the most she could give was a simple smile. The loss of a mother, wife or close friend is an inevitably difficult experience, especially when it feels that it is before their time. But it is during these times that people can learn. They can learn to savour the time they are given at every opportunity, the beauty of even the simplest things that they experience in life, and they can learn the value of their relationships with other people. I know that it means so much to all of us to receive with gratitude the amazing support from all of you, and for that I can only say thank you from the bottom of my heart. We would be finding this a lot harder without all of you by our sides. My mother was a saint. And I know that she will live on, in our hearts and our minds, through the grace and humanity with which she touched upon all of us.